Who Has the Biggest Brain?

I am looking back upon my 42 years of existence and trying to remember the dumbest things I've done. Once when I was in High School, I got up one morning, got changed, went downstairs and realized that it was Saturday and I'd set my alarm clock to ring for absolutely no reason. About fifteen years ago, I was getting ready to work (at the old Holiday Inn on Broadway). I hadn't been feeling well and probably should have called in sick, but I decided to work. I took a hot shower and grabbed a tuxedo shirt. I was still in a daze when I got to work. That's when I realized that I'd taken the PINK tuxedo shirt from my wardrobe. I had to wear a sweater all night.

Fast forward to September 20, 2008.

This morning was another one of those 4am shifts that I'd become quite accustomed to. Nevertheless I was running a bit late. I'd spent too much time deciding if my pink (diagonally) striped tie would work on my darker but also (vertically) pink striped shirt wasn't too loud. I suddenly realized it was already 3:30am and if I dawdle I would be late for work. So I said to hell with the shirt, put on my socks (which probably didn't match but since they're all black I could care less) and shoes and rushed to work. I got to work a wee bit late but all was well; except that something was bothering me. I kept thinking that there was something wrong. I unplugged the iron. Maybe I left a light on at home but that's not the end of the world.

Then as I was going up the stairs to work I looked down and realized that I'd worn two different shoes (I will wait 30 seconds here so you can wipe that drink you just spilled while reading the previous sentence)............now back in the "Holiday Inn" times I could have rushed back home (8 blocks away) and fixed my problem, but my drive to and from work now takes a minimum of 25 minutes. Could I torture myself with ten hours of incorrect footwear (well technically I was within the dress code since they were BOTH black)? It wasn't long before the staff realized (and so "graciously" spread the word to the other staff) what had happened to me. It was funny having staff see me and instead of saying hi look down at my feet and laugh. Even Surveillance found out and were paging me and asking me if I remembered to put on socks this morning. I managed to survive until about 9:30am and then I told Rick that I was going crazy with embarrassment and had to go for a drive. I managed to find Willowbrook Mall and found myself a nice pair of shoes at Rockport for $84. A lot of staff (that hadn't see my blunder) were disappointed when I suddenly appeared with matching shoes.

And then, as if the Guy Upstairs didn't have enough of a sense of humor, I discovered that I was chosen as one of two "Employees of the Month" at my location and got a $150 American Express card. So I guess I gained $66 for being a complete idiot.

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.