Bamboo Shoots

After watching The Bachelorette tonight, I would now like to offer the most useless wastes of time on American television as of July 5, 2010. These people have no talent and yet want their 15 (and in some cases 20) minutes of fame. Alternatively they are people with some talent but have no idea what to do with their lives but waste away. But as usual the most pathetic thing is people still love them.

1) Kate Gosselin - Oh she's miles ahead of anyone else. Between subjecting myself to see her face and sticking bamboo shoots up my fingernails, I really can't decide.

2) Jake Pavelka - He has gone from the supposedly nice guy on the other Bachelorette show to now perhaps the most hated person on TV (next to #1). His interview was such a joke. Get off of TV please. Unfortunately, he'll get some sort of a reality show because the stupid American public will keep watching.

3) Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt - Well they're separated but together they are still silly wastes of time. Attention whores, probably next season of Dancing With the Stars will have one or both of them on.

4) Miley Cyrus - 17 years old and already miles ahead of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan in the lost cause category. She'll be pregnant in no time and be in rehab before the end of the year.

5) Britney Spears/Lindsay Lohan - May their singing/acting careers end forever. Enough already.

Thought of the Day April 10

If they say that sex before the big game works, how come Tiger isn't at 20 under right about now?

Miss Scarlett

Iron Man 2. Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow. No more words are necessary.

Who Cares?

I want to hear about Tiger Woods' affairs just as much as I want to hear about George Clooney's golf game. But this is what the American public wants to read about. If I were to boycott newspapers and TV until they stop reporting about Tiger's NON-GOLF news, how long would it be? I DON'T CARE.

Don't Go West

We now have a new member of the "Please Go Away" Celebrity Club, Kanye West. I didn't get a chance to watch the MVA's but it's obvious this guy is a loser. He can now join Jon & Kate, Octomom, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and the rest. Drink some more, idiot.